I'm a pretty ambitious being. My last 18 years or so had been centered about being "someone famous" or "someone successful" or more simply "someone."
I always felt like I had something to do, connections to make, impressions to leave or even performances to master.
I started to learn or at least to try to pick my words ,so as to sound as sophisticated as possible, at 4.
I knew there was always someone who needed to be charmed with my wit and quick mind.
I had to "play the part."
It felt like a strong and convincing thing to just be famous, to have thousands or even millions of admirers rooting for my next big step. I dreamed out loud, making it so obvious that I wasn't shooting for the average, but for the stars.
Ironically, though I KNEW I had to be famous, I didn't even know what for. What would I offer my millions of adoring fans? What's so special about me that was so captivating? Why would anybody "love" me?
Truth is, it was just my selfishness crying out for attention. Believing I deserve to be famous. Not even bothering to think what I would add to this world. My goal was to get on stage, but I never knew what I would say then!!!
But recently, with the help of some great thoughts and some time to reflect upon them, I had my A-ha! moment (a la Oprah Winfrey) Getting exposed to the reality of being a Christian.
I need to die in order to live!
Dying, in the sense of being the hands and feet of Christ, following Him, bringing His words to my life, Living Him...
It became so clear to me: lose everything you are for everything Jesus is, this is how you become worthy of the Coming Kingdom!
Who I am is unworthy of anything, I am a self-absorbed sinner. However, Christ gave His life for me, dying on the cross to embrace me, telling me that I am His, I am marked with the blood of the Lamb of God!!
God is Holy, Beautiful, Miraculous, Amazing and Satisfying, and He knows me!
This is the truth that fills me.
I always felt like I had something to do, connections to make, impressions to leave or even performances to master.
I started to learn or at least to try to pick my words ,so as to sound as sophisticated as possible, at 4.
I knew there was always someone who needed to be charmed with my wit and quick mind.
I had to "play the part."
It felt like a strong and convincing thing to just be famous, to have thousands or even millions of admirers rooting for my next big step. I dreamed out loud, making it so obvious that I wasn't shooting for the average, but for the stars.
Ironically, though I KNEW I had to be famous, I didn't even know what for. What would I offer my millions of adoring fans? What's so special about me that was so captivating? Why would anybody "love" me?
Truth is, it was just my selfishness crying out for attention. Believing I deserve to be famous. Not even bothering to think what I would add to this world. My goal was to get on stage, but I never knew what I would say then!!!
But recently, with the help of some great thoughts and some time to reflect upon them, I had my A-ha! moment (a la Oprah Winfrey) Getting exposed to the reality of being a Christian.
I need to die in order to live!
Dying, in the sense of being the hands and feet of Christ, following Him, bringing His words to my life, Living Him...
It became so clear to me: lose everything you are for everything Jesus is, this is how you become worthy of the Coming Kingdom!
Who I am is unworthy of anything, I am a self-absorbed sinner. However, Christ gave His life for me, dying on the cross to embrace me, telling me that I am His, I am marked with the blood of the Lamb of God!!
God is Holy, Beautiful, Miraculous, Amazing and Satisfying, and He knows me!
This is the truth that fills me.
"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33)
