Back (again)

Dear diary,

It's been a long time since I last wrote here. For some reason I was convinced that writing something for everyone to see wouldn't really serve its purpose of letting my thoughts be heard and potentially validated, because I had this nagging idea that no one cared enough to listen. I had grown far more insecure about my style and the elegance of my thoughts and delivery, to the point where I just gave up trying to put them into words.

I'm actually not a writer. And saying this liberates me from all the weight I had put on my own shoulders to be "great" at ranting to what is essentially a public journal. I write because I feel like talking without using my voice and without having someone jump to assumptions in the middle of my sentences. I write because I no longer have patience to sculpt something out of someone's stone-rigid preconceived ideas. I write because I feel like it...and for a long time, I didn't feel like it.

I'll try to free myself from the weight of my own expectations, because some of my ideas now will definitely seem questionable to my own self later. But they're mine now, and I respect myself enough to share them.

Love,
Me