Judging by the title you've probably figured out what I'll write about. Fair enough, it's not a new subject to tackle, nor is it an easy one. I'll be very specific and quite personal when talking about this, so bear with me for a little...
The type of idols and idolatry this time is people. I've always thought of role models as infallible, though I try to look like I know their weaknesses and problems, and that they're in no means perfect. I find myself always ignoring these faults and failings once I get totally hooked up on them. It's then I realize that I've created something too big to break down into a normal human being. It only takes another role model I turn into an idol to make me see the faults and normality of the previous one. Like I said in the last post, it's a cycle, a very repetitive one. I guess it'll end for sure, nothing lasts forever after all.
I may seem mature for my age, but I know there are certain things that expose my lack of consistency. I pray about it. I even noticed improvement in some areas. But sometimes it only takes someone to tick me off to get me to throw a tantrum, or some poor friend of mine to bash on something I happen to "like" to get me to never stop proving them wrong, or convincing them that they need a change of views. This particular area, which is idolizing people, proves there's a LOT to work on in order to be mature.
I still struggle with the idea that I can change whatever I want about myself, whenever I want it, once I set my mind to. As if there's a button to press so I would stop being lazy, or stop thinking too highly or too lowly of myself, or even a button to change my opinion about someone or something I know is no good. This shows my lack of a realistic perspective of the world, of myself, of God. Things like that need perseverance, something I'm very poor in.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I still pray to find the right way to get rid of idolizing people, to grow up, and to learn from all the times mere humans failed me.
Pray for me, please.
The type of idols and idolatry this time is people. I've always thought of role models as infallible, though I try to look like I know their weaknesses and problems, and that they're in no means perfect. I find myself always ignoring these faults and failings once I get totally hooked up on them. It's then I realize that I've created something too big to break down into a normal human being. It only takes another role model I turn into an idol to make me see the faults and normality of the previous one. Like I said in the last post, it's a cycle, a very repetitive one. I guess it'll end for sure, nothing lasts forever after all.
I may seem mature for my age, but I know there are certain things that expose my lack of consistency. I pray about it. I even noticed improvement in some areas. But sometimes it only takes someone to tick me off to get me to throw a tantrum, or some poor friend of mine to bash on something I happen to "like" to get me to never stop proving them wrong, or convincing them that they need a change of views. This particular area, which is idolizing people, proves there's a LOT to work on in order to be mature.
I still struggle with the idea that I can change whatever I want about myself, whenever I want it, once I set my mind to. As if there's a button to press so I would stop being lazy, or stop thinking too highly or too lowly of myself, or even a button to change my opinion about someone or something I know is no good. This shows my lack of a realistic perspective of the world, of myself, of God. Things like that need perseverance, something I'm very poor in.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I still pray to find the right way to get rid of idolizing people, to grow up, and to learn from all the times mere humans failed me.
Pray for me, please.
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